Welcome to Fredcat's diary - and checkout his tails later!

Wednesday, February 28^th 2007 (number 920)

Half in, half out Fredcat Large image

Fredcat started the day in a good mood. After his best human friend, Cathie, had left for work, the "butler" had opened the front door - and left it slightly ajar. Fredcat crept slowly towards it, stopped on the threshold and gingerly sat himself down right on the join, glancing over his shoulder as he did so. Had Mr. B. forgotten that the door was open or was he being kind? He looked around again to see Mr. B. on the telephone, chatting away - he'd definitely forgotten about the front door being open. Despite Fredcat's suspicions the Grumpy One wasn't playing a trick, he'd simply forgotten about the door. What bliss! Fredcat made not a sound as he settled down in the warmth of the spring morning; with the sun on his face and the warmth of central heating warming his back.

It was sometime later when Mr. B. realised his error and he apologised to Fredcat for leaving the Mighty One in the doorway all alone. Fredcat started to say that he didn't mind in the least, but the door was closing fast and he had to step smartly inside. It wasn't that warm, even in the spring sunshine, and the interior of his residence did seem to be the better short term bet for a heat-seeking feline.

Fredcat frowned. He felt a bit like a caged animal trying to escape. He wanted to go out but needed the flexibility to be able to return to his "cage" when necessary. Why couldn't Mr. B. keep the door open a little longer? It would do no harm. But the Grumpy One was muttering about the cost of keeping the Fredcat residence well heated and, alas, Fredcat had no decent rebuttal to that argument.

When Cathie arrived back from work Fredcat tried to complain to her about Mr. B. and his penchant for saving pennies by keeping all the doors tightly closed but Cathie was in a very good mood, and shooed Fredcat away. "No complaints today, my boy," she said, "I've had a good day at work and I want to celebrate." Fredcat sighed. He clearly wasn't going to get any support from Cathie. Today was definitely turning out to be a very inconvenient day for a famous feline. Cheer up, Fredcat!

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Monday, February 26^th 2007 (number 919)

Oscar-meriting Fredcat! Large image

The humans had watched the Oscar ceremonies as they played out in Hollywood. Fredcat had joined them until he became a bit bored and he had to fight to keep himself awake, settled comfortably as he was in Mr. B.'s lap. To be honest, there was a lot of talking going on at the Oscars ceremony and Fredcat only became interested when the films were being shown. Unfortunately each film was stopped after about a minute, just when Fredcat had started to understand the plot; it was most frustrating.

"Where are all the cats?" demanded Fredcat, "It's all humans except for some cartoon creatures - and there's way too much singing and talking. I thought this evening's entertainment was going to be about a friend of mine called Oscar - but it's nothing of the sort. And can someone explain to me why felines can't get Oscars? I'm sure I must have won an Oscar or two for my stunning portrayals of a famous cat in my marvellous Google videos. I'll be looking in the mail box tomorrow to see if it's been posted to me. I don't want an Oscar for Best Potrayal by a Feline in a Supporting Role, thank you very much - only the award for Best Feline Actor will be acceptable." He chunnered on for a bit as was his wont.

Mr. B. agreed (after a fashion). "Although it's nice to see all the stars turning up and walking down the red carpet, I'd almost prefer to see a bit of competitive action, even if it was only cats having a bit of a go," he said, but he was told to keep the noise down by Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, who was keenly watching to see what the glitterati were wearing.

"That's not at all nice," she said, "I know that cats practice stuff like that as part of their growing up - all cats have their mad moments when they do something frantic like rushing up and down the hall chasing imaginary objects. My Fredcat used to do that when he was younger, but now he's grown up - and I'm convinced he prefers art nowadays." She looked at the Mighty One for tacit agreement but he looked rather blankly back at her. Modern Art to Fredcat meant having his evening meal arranged in a tasteful way in his food bowl!

"Men!" said Cathie, "And I include male felines in that category; you're all the same," but she soon relented and was last seen cuddling Fredcat, all the while explaining the finer intricacies of modern art to a bored looking lap cat of hers. Truth be told, Fredcat rather liked being cuddled and if it meant putting up with a bit of Cathie chattering on about Old Masters then so be it, so long as it all ended with Fredcat being told that he was master of his own residence. Which he is!

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Friday, February 23^rd 2007 (number 918)

One hundred friends for Fredcat! Large image

Fredcat looked at the statistics displayed on his spiffy new desktop laptop computer in surprise. His personalised Catster page was displaying a montage of his new friends - over a hundred Catster felines!! That was a lot of new friends, and the Mighty One thought that it would be impossible to list them all in his famous Diary. He hoped that his readers would remember that if they wanted to look at his very own personalised Catster page all they had to do was click on this link or on the special Catster link to the right of this Diary entry and the pictures of his new Catster friends would appear in no time. He purred in satisfaction.

"It's amazing just how many ginger and white cats there are out there," marvelled Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, as she gave him a gentle hug, "I'd quite like to find out how many of you there are. You've been invited to join a Catster group called Brilliant Orange Cats Unite. That should be interesting."

Mr. B. contributed a statement of the obvious, saying that there were a lot of cats and kittens in the world. "In Queensland, in Australia they're almost overrun with them," he said, "It's a good job that felines are few and far between where you live, Fredcat; they'd be meowing and yowling all day and night long." He was clearly not impressed with the thought of an ever-expanding feline population.

"Suppose there were so many kittens around that looked just like you? Cathie mightn't even be able to tell which was you!" he continued, a tad grimly. "Then what would you do? Next thing, they'd be after stealing your identity!"

"That would be awful! Just let them even try to steal something of mine," snapped Cathie, the very thought of even Fredcat's identity being stolen annoying her. She picked him up gave him a cuddle, wiping the eyes of her best and only cat clear as she did so - after all, the Mighty One had to have clear eyesight to make sure that he could escape potential catnappers. And if anyone even dared to consider taking him they'd have his Cathie to answer to!

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Wednesday, February 21^st 2007 (number 917)

Arboreal Fredcat! Large image

There were strangers - strangers! - in the garden so Fredcat did what he normally did in those circumstances and that was to stay indoors well away from whatever they were doing. He knew that sooner or later they would leave and the Fredcat residence would become peaceful again. Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, had left for work and now Fredcat could hear the sound of voices as Mr. B. chatted with the men. Then there was a period of silence. Suddenly there was a loud WHOOMPH! and the very walls of the Frecat residence shook. That did it. The Mighty One flew into the living room and saw Mr. B. watching through the windows. "What on earth was that!?" demanded the (now) Shaken One, but Mr. B. was calmness personified.

"Don't be alarmed, Fredcat," he replied, "It's just a tree coming down. You're quite safe here indoors, with me." To say that Fredcat didn't feel safe was the understatement of the year. The next minute came another - even louder - WHOOMPH! which shook the Fredcat walls again and sent Fredcat leaping into Mr. B.'s arms. "What's happening? Are we at war?" he cried and scrambled onto the shoulders of the Grumpy One, "Is this the end of civilization? Do I need to make out my will? What will happen to all my round beds? Who's going to get my stuff?"

Mr. B. gently untangled Fredcat's sharp claws from his neck (his extraordinarily sharp claws) and moved the quivering feline as close to the window as the latter would allow. "Look outside, Fredcat. You're quite safe. These two trees were very dangerous and could have fallen on your famous residence at any time. They were very tall monsters, getting on for a a hundred feet tall, and what you heard was the bang as each of them were lowered to the ground. Don't worry - they were meant to fall where they landed, and the men ouside have everything under control. And it's all over now."

When Cathie came home Fredcat strode pointedly up to her, led her to the downed trees and demanded to know whether she was aware that Mr. B. was wrecking the garden - but Cathie just laughed and said that the tree felling was for the good of everyone - humans and felines alike (but possibly not for squirrels who lived there). "A tree that falls onto a residence can do untold damage, Fredcat," she said, "but that worry has now passed. Just relax."

Tbe two entered the house and saw Mr. B. preparing the evening meal. "We're having pancakes today, as we forgot to have them yesterday," he announced, starting to mix the ingredients, "Yesterday was Shrove Tuesday (or Pancake Day for people like me who like their food). Now I know that you don't care for pancakes, Fredcat, so I'm fixing you a special treat of a few slices of best beef, cut up into tiny chunks so you can get what remains of your teeth around them." He smiled, Fredcat had already forotten the trees and his nostrils were now taking him as fast as his paws could carry him to where his food bowls were placed. Fredcat liked climbing trees a few years ago but nowadays he preferred gourmet meals served just how he liked them, namely within his food bowls - and right now, if you please. Happy post-Pancake Day, Fredcat!

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Monday, February 19^th 2007 (number 916)

Kung Hey Fat Choi Fredcat! Large image

"It's Presidents Day today - and I'm very happy," said Fredcat, "It's a holiday - and my best human friend, Cathie, will be home all day long today - making it a three day weekend, because it's a special holiday and everyone, but everyone, stays at home." He beamed at Mr. B. and waited at the top of the stairs to be carried down for breakfast. Mr. B. ignored him and the Mighty One finally trundled down to the kitchen wearing a slightly puzzled air.

"I thought you'd be glad that Cathie has an extra day's holiday today," the Famous One continued (ignoring the slight of not being carried downstairs), "She can help you get my breakfast today," He danced his famous jig, hopping from one side to the other, two paws at a time, whilst the Grumpy One looked on in his typically un-amused fashion.

"Sorry, Fredcat, but it ain't so," said the Grumpy One, tersely, "Only Federal employees are guaranteed the day off today, I'm afraid. Ordinary folks, such as Cathie, have to go into work as usual or they don't get paid." Fredcat's heart sank. It sank further still when Cathie came downstairs wearing her going-to-work clothes.

"We felines don't need any holidays," said Fredcat at last, "I suppose that our whole life can be considered a holiday by some - but it is hard work, catching stuff, you know." Mr. B. thought that trying to follow and catch a roaming computer mouse didn't count as work as such - but he let it pass.

"Stop complaining, Fredcat - one doesn't have to have a public holiday to have a relaxing day, you know" said Mr. B., "Why don't you ask Cathie to give you a quick cuddle - or even a tummy rub before she goes off to work? I'll ask her if you like. She might be able to do it whilst her morning cuppa tea is cooling; it shouldn't take long." Fredcat nodded happily; if Cathie couldn't be at home all day then her giving him a nice massage would be a reasonable compromise.

When Cathie finally left for work Fredcat settled down to watch some of the Chinese New Year celebrations (Kung Hey Fat Choi!) but the vivid colours and bright lights associated with the celebrations made him tired, and he soon fell asleep. Mr. B. kindly covered him with a throw and went off to drink his own morning cuppa. Lucky Mr. B!

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Friday, February 16^th 2007 (number 915)

Continuing Valentine euphoria! Large image

"And so it continues," purred Fredcat happily, as he groomed himself in preparation for dictating his famous Diary to Mr. B. "I've had more Valentine's Day messages from Miss Kitty and Ann W., Callie Cat and Patsy B. and Stumpy and Nicomi! They've all been incorporated into my famous Guestbook, where I like to keep important messages. Some of my gentle readers have sent e-cards - and they, too, are very welcome!"

"Thank you all for sending these beautiful messages to me; they gladdened my heart and made my best human friend, Cathie, smile. If she were a feline, like me, I'm sure she'd be purring her head off!" He waited for Mr. B. to catch up (the Grumpy One wasn't a very good typist.)

"I see that you have a very secret admirer, Fredcat" said Cathie, as she looked over the Valentine's Day messages, "I wonder who that could be?" The card itself showed a tremulous beating heart and Fredcat turned an even more ginger colour as he started to stammer a response. Cathie smiled. She knew that the Mighty One, although a male feline, was still a romantic at heart.

Fredcat frantically groomed himself (he liked to keep himself clean) as he searched for a way out of this problem. He'd noticed a lot of humans doing this when they were embarrassed but when that distraction didn't work he switched to another evasion technique. "I really liked that wonderful piece of best beef which you gave me for Valentine's Day," he said, "Any chance of any more tucked away in the bottom of the freezer?" He licked his lips and looked hopefully at Cathie - but, alas, evasion didn't work either.

Cathie completely ignored the food question and told Fredcat that he'd received more Catster messages. "I see that you've received an invitation to join a Catster Ginger group," she remarked, "That looks right up your street, don't you agree?"

Fredcat breathed a sigh of relief at the subject changing from secret admirers and asked Mr. B. to help him reply to his new Catster friends. "Sorry, old thing," said the Grumpy One, "but this famous Diary of yours on the wide, wide, world of web has to be completed first. Perhaps you or Cathie could deal with your Catster friends over the weekend."

Fredcat limped out of the study leaving Mr. B. to complete his famous Diary tasks as instructed and went slowly downstairs. No sign of best beef in the food bowls, just plain old biscuits and some milk. Well, that's better than nothing, he thought. He took a few sips and watched as the milk swirled to and fro. Milk's looks so bland, he thought, and let his mind wander. "I wonder what would happen if it were to be mixed with some food colouring? Hmmmmm." He wandered over to the couch and curled up for a sleep, thoughts of swirling coloured milk filling his head as he nodded off.

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Wednesday, February 14^th 2007 (number 914)

Valentine's Day Fredcat! Large image

"It's been a fantastic week so far", said Fredcat, excitedly, "I've had all sorts of messages from my feline friends, wishing me a Happy Valentine's Day. I am so happy!" He beamed jubilantly at his humans and chortled. Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, also smiled, and picked up the Mighty One and gave him a swirl around the living room. "Let's see just who's been sending you Valentine's Day messages," she said, and carried Fredcat up the stairs to the study. Once there Fredcat climbed up his set of homemade steps made of books until he reached Cathie's desk, where he perched himself whilst Cathie logged on to his spiffy new laptop notebook computer.

"Go to my Guestbook, please, Cathie" directed Fredcat, "That's where all my Valentine's Day greetings are set out. Mr. B. has posted them there in a pretty purple colour. See! There they all are - from Dana and the kits, Ashley, Shelby and Mitzi, J.deF., Sharon Younts, and Teresa T and the Fur Gang. They are all so kind and thoughtful to remember me on Valentine's Day." He purred happily.

"So, now that one of your admirers has written you a Valentine's Day poem, no less, are you going to respond in kind?" asked Cathie, "Or are you going to become a thespian and write dreamy sonnets and suchlike?"

"No way!" snorted Fredcat, "I must confess that I rather like the adulation (which is my due, I feel) but I need to do something tasteful, without being soppy, if you see what I mean. I've heard of a certain female cat, Nora, who plays the piano quite well - perhaps I should take a lead from her direction and compose a special tune for my kind readers."

"I think you should consider demonstrating your skills as a dancer - there are d*gs about who could give you dancing lessons," suggested Cathie, but the Mighty One shook his head fiercely. Even though he knew some very nice members of the canine family were among his admirers he, like all felines, was quite wary of d*gs, as a group.

"You have a running and jumping skill that you could show off," said Cathie, "The way you can still leap onto Mr. B.'s lap and demand grub shows that you have retained all the athleticism you honed as a kitten," but Fredcat declined that suggestion - he'd had enough of jumping for the day. Besides, all this talk of hero worship had made him hungry and he turned to Cathie with "that look" in his eyes (the one which spelled F-O-O-D) so she complied and, heading downstairs, gave him a special treat of best beef which she'd saved up for the occasion. Lucky Valentine's Day Fredcat!

It simply remains for Fredcat to wish all his readers, near and far, a Happy Valentine's Day, to thank all those who had written to him, and to wish all his readers all the best for the future. See you on Friday!

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Monday, February 12^th 2007 (number 913)

Anniversary Fredcat! Large image

"It's almost a year since I became an (honorary) US citizen," remarked Fredcat, "I remember lots of things about that time - it was all so exciting." Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, smiled as she too remembered the events of February 2006. She and Mr. B. had had to drive all the way to Charlotte to take part in the citizenship ceremony and receive their citizenship papers. Fredcat had elected to stay home as he preferred not to take such a long car trip again - he remembered making a similar journey when he first arrived in North Carolina several years ago and had no desire to repeat the torture (and it would have had to have been a round trip, to boot). "I don't care if some humans like taking road trips; cars are definitely off my Christmas list."

I'm so glad you persuaded the immigration authorities to grant my US citizenship by acclaim," he said, "I'm pretty famous, you know, so it's only right that I'm allowed some privileges - and a double car trip is not my idea of fun." He shuddered and continued to groom himself. "Do you think that the immigration people would allow d*gs similar treatment?" he asked, "I bet they would, if it were for a super police dog (even if it were tiny). The creatures would have to be helpful, though, not aggressive, like most canines. I bet you that's why they let me be a US citizen by acclaim. I'm very helpful, and not in the least aggressive". He grinned, a crooked, but still famous, grin.

"That's enough talk about d*gs and cars," said Mr. B., "I see that you've already had a couple of Valentine's messages from your gentle readers. That must make you feel very pleased." He looked across at the Mighty One to see if there were any blushes forming but Fredcat kept his cool.

"Whenver I receive any Valentine's Day messages then it's all down to me and nothing to do with you," Fredcat stated, firmly, and shook his famous ginger and white head, "Please don't open any mail I may receive in the next few days - and if you see any parcels addressed to me then I'll deal with them, too." Fredcat was clearly in a mood. "I'm quite sure that you'll not be getting anything to do with Valentine's Day."

"I see that you've received a Catster star already," said Mr. B., mischievously, "When I checked into this for you I found that it had been given anonymously - a complete surprise! It came with a tantalising message: I hope you get lots and lots of gifts. You and your famousness deserve it! At this Fredcat did his best not to blush, failed, and started to groom himself, frantically. Mr. B. recognised Fredcat's signs of embarrassment but decided that he'd teased the Mighty One enough and offered him some tuna by way of a gentle apology. Look out, Fredcat - don't trust the Grumpy One any further than you throw him - he'll probably return to the fray in a couple of day. Stay alert, Fredcat!

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Friday, February 9^th 2007 (number 912)

Fredcat doppelganger! Large image

Fredcat had recently received a somewhat alarming email from one of his best feline friends, Miss Kitty, and her best human friend, Ann. Apparently there lived in Buckinghamshire (in the southern end of England) a young ginger and white feline called Bruce who bore a remarkable resemblance to the Famous One. To say that this was worrying Fredcat was a severe understatement. Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, took a long look at the photograph of Bruce and decided that although there were subtle differences there were also striking similarities between the two cats - like the distinctive teartracks on the face of both felines - and she raised the subject delicately with Our Hero.

Even Mr. B. took a dim view of things. "I thought you said you came from the county of Lancashire, in the north of England, Fredcat - that's where Cathie found you. Are you sure you didn't beat a hot-footed retreat from the south of England - perhaps evading some Fredcat-based mischief? Were you in fact laying low in the animal rescue centre in Lancashire, waiting for some unsuspecting and soft hearted human to take you home, where you could continue to lead an undercover life, unknown to your humans? What were you up to in your early days, hey?"

But this was a step too far for Cathie. "Don't be silly," she scolded, "When I first met Fredcat in the Freshfield Animal Rescue he was only a few weeks old; he'd hardly been weaned - he couldn't possibly have been up to any mischief." She lifted up the shaken feline and gave him a huge, comforting cuddle. "Don't listen to him, Fredcat, I know what we can do," she continued, "We could always try to check out Bruce's movements to see if you and he are related - even though we know nothing about your early life. I don't think we'll be able to do that at the moment though, as there's a lot of snow in the UK (and in lots of other places) at the moment and even though everything looks nice and clean, it's actually pretty nasty when you're out in it."

"So long as the snow doesn't come to North Carolina again, I'll be perfectly content," said Fredcat and moved towards one of his many round beds to have a sleep and keep warm at the same time.

He was stopped in his tracks, literally, by Cathie. "You can't go to sleep just yet," she exclaimed, "Before you nod off you need to tell your gentle readers all about the Catster friends you've met. Wow! There are already loads of them and you've only been on their website since Monday!" She started to list them out loud. "There's Ashley and Gabby, Baby and Baily, Benny, Boots and Bubbsie, Carlie and Carma, Charlie, Clarence and Chopstix, Flash and Fred, Gertie and Jackson, Judah and Karma, Karma Kitty, and Kila, Mattmew and Milo, Miss Tiger Woods and Monday, Mooch and Newton, Oliver and Pepper, Phoebe and Phoebe(!), Pippin and Pogie, Punkin Pooh and Rags, Ruben and Sammie, Sara Joe and Sassy, Scaredy and Smokey, Snow and Spook and, last, but not least, Winnie and Zelda."

"I hope I haven't missed anyone - I'm only human, you know!" She grinned. She was very proud of Fredcat. He'd even been sent two rosettes and a star from his some of his friends!

"That's a lot of pals," said Fredcat, "Will I have time to send them proper messages of welcome and thanks for being my friends?" He pawsed, a little uncertain as to what to do next. "I'll have a sleep and deal with it when I wake up," he finally said, and scratched his head (happily he didn't send any more famous ginger and white fur fluttering downwards - his recent medication seemed to have cured that particular problem). He stretched his racing snake-like body and turned and headed bed-wards where he very soon fell asleep and dreamt of all his friends, new and old and, on a more prosaic note, of snowfalls) in the land of his birth. Sweet dreams, Famous One!

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Wednesday, February 7^th 2007 (number 911)

Catster Fredcat! Large image

Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, was feeling very pleased with herself. She'd been surfing the intawebs on the wide, wide world of web when she spotted something called Catster. Fredcat knew that anything with the letters C A T in it was always a magnet for her so he wasn't surprised when Cathie came to him and excitedly carried him upstairs to read all about it on Fredcat's spiffy new laptop notebook computer. "See! There are hundreds of feline creatures out there," she said, "and I'm sure some of them will want to be your friend, Fredcat." She rapidly scrolled down the pages and pointed out the entry she had typed in (all on her own) and, tapping the screen, said, "There's your Catster entry, all about you, Fredcat. Doesn't it look special?" She took hold of Fredcat again and did a little jig with him - which meant that Fredcat couldn't actually see any of what she'd written about him.

Fredcat frowned; he knew Cathie had meant well when she'd given him a Catster presence, but he also knew that she loved all cats - so much so that he was afraid that she'd leave him alone whilst she was busy sending nice messages to all the other felines she'd found on Catster. The last thing he wanted was to be left in the care of the Grumpy One. He was alright, in a way, but he didn't give him all the comfort and cuddles he was used to receiving from Cathie. He needed to let her know how he felt (in a roundabout English way, of course).

What he actually said was, "I suppose this means you're going to go off and talk to and write to all these other cats, then!" As soon as the words were out he gasped - that wasn't what he'd meant to say at all. Cathie looked at him as comprehension slowly dawned.

"Oh dear me, no, Fredcat, that's the last thing on my mind," she exclaimed, and a wave of joy came over the Mighty One. Oh dear, he should never have doubted Cathie ... That was the trouble with these emotion thingies, they got out of control so easily!

He started purring happily, and settled down in a happier frame of mind to review his own Catster page. "I see you've given me a proper link on the right hand side of my diary to my new page - straight to my own famous Catster page, Cathie," he said. He was actually quite pleased with it and read it several times moving from one part of his new intaweb presence to another, reading it all out aloud.

"Here's a good part of this Catster website," said Cathie, "You get to have proper feline friends from all over the place. All over the world, if you want! It's nearly as good as your own famous Diary in that regard, Fredcat. You can invite them to be your friends and they can invite you back. Once you both agree, then you're mates. Isn't that cool!"

Cathie went downstairs, leaving Fredcat to read all about his new found friends. Then when he'd Catster'd out he moved on to watch again the commercials from the SuperBowl on Sunday which Cathie's boss, A, had sent to everyone at work. Fredcat liked the one where the white d*g was soaked from a puddle by a passing car - serve him right - but he was charitable enough to watch all the way through, to be sure that the pooch received a reasonable reward.

He went back to his own famous Diary website and vowed that he would make sure that the next Diary he dictated to Mr. B. included details for his old friends of the new friends he'd made on Catster. He also decided to use this Diary entry to wish a Happy Birthday to one of his oldest friends, Mr. JdeF - Happy Birthday for Monday gone, sir! He smiled. He was healthy, and he had lots of friends, new and old. Life was sweet.

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Monday, February 5^th 2007 (number 910)

Fredcat and the XLI players! Large image

"What's wrong with my big TV, then?" asked Fredcat, "I assumed that the Grumpy One was going to be sitting there on the couch, glued to the screen, eating popcorn and drinking beer yesterday, and I've only just learned that when he went out he'd gone to watch the Super Bowl with relatives - and leave me all alone." He grinned. Truth be told, he wasn't upset in the least - it meant that he'd been able to have his best human friend, Cathie, all to himself for a large chunk of the day.

Even so, he did manage a bit of a grumble. "Look, I know it's great when Mr. B. leaves us alone - but I do like to have advance notice of his lengthier absences, you know; this is my residence, after all, and I need to know where you guys are every minute of every day, just in case." He declined to elaborate on his requirements any further.

When Cathie had departed for work, Fredcat raised this matter with the Grumpy One, demanding to be told of his travelling plans well in advance in future, and requesting that he be told when Mr. B. was planning to disappear (he actually disapproved of Mr. B.'s leaving the Fredcat residence at all without forewarning). But Mr. B. was having none of it. "It's not as if I'm off somewhere flying dangerously around the world and leaving you without a proper supply of good food, Fredcat. I need to get away from household chores once in a while and relax instead of being cooped up with you all the time. For most of the year you're very well fed, and you know it."

That's true, thought the Mighty One, he'd seen pictures of tubby felines that had made him wince and he realised that Mr. B. had a reasonable point. He'd even heard of a cat that had been trapped by a mouse in a jam jar, ridiculous as it may have seemed. The feline in question hadn't appeared to be overweight.

They soon made up after their little spat, however, and in a surprise move Fredcat found Mr. B. sorting out the pantry in the kitchen, tossing out stale biscuits and replacing them with fresh ones bought recently. "See how I look after you?" smiled Mr. B., and he even opened a small tin of tuna as a special treat for someone not a million miles away. Mr. B. was happy, the SuperBowl had been a good one from his point of view; he'd enjoyed the famed half time commercials, and he'd had a mini-break too, so both he and Fredcat were content. And if Fredcat was content then Cathie would be content, and if Cathie was content then everyone was content. A good result!

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Friday, February 2^nd 2007 (number 909)

Opinionated Fredcat! Large image

"So it's Groundhog Day today. Again," said Fredcat, a trifle wearily, "I don't see the point of groundhogs; in fact they're quite boring, as far as I can make out. It's not as if they do anything, is it?" Fredcat was clearly in a bit of a mood. The cold weather was getting to him. The day before the snow had arrived, and the ice wasn't far behind. Many schools and businesses had closed. It was touch and go as to whether Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, would have to stay at home for another snow day and he was pleased that in the end commonsense had prevailed. The snow and ice hadn't lasted though, and today Cathie was back at work. "I have so much to do to catch up," she'd sighed, as she'd left to go to the office.

Mr. B. asked Fredcat what he was going to do over the weekend. "Are you going to watch the Superbowl with me?" he asked, "I know that Cathie is only interested in the mid-match advertisements. They're usually very imaginative - but it's the football game that I prefer. At half time there's usually a musical show with loads of dancers and a big star to keep the paying audience entertained. It's very good entertainment."

"I don't know," pondered Fredcat, "For an English feline such as I, once you've seen one Superbowl you've seen them all. I'm not so sure that modern pop and rap music is much to my taste, anyway. I think that some heavy metal stuff would go down well - I could really work up a sweat listening to that."

"Well, that's a surprise!" said Cathie, "I also thought that you preferred something more cerebral, like Bach. Look at this rendition of his Tocccaca and Fugue - it's very unusual, you can actually see the notes in a modern format as they're being played. It's very interesting to watch the display as the organist performs." She started to sing along but, alas, her singing soon morphed into a Beatles song.

"Well, I know that not everyone will be watching the Superbowl this weekend," replied Fredcat, "Not all felines have access to home comforts such as my big TV. My very good friend Dana told me of some feral felines who had been befriended by inmates in the local prison, and who've been turfed out because some humans objected." He walked away, sadly pondering the plight of his fellow felines. He still had no idea what he'd be doing over the weekend but he was quite sure that best beef would be a part of it. Then, once that task had been tackled, he had to plan his naps (always necessary to aid one's digestion, he felt). He also wanted to check out the Word of the Day. His weekend was starting to look busy!

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