Fredcat's Diary July 2003
July 31st 2003
Fredcat has been rather sanguine about the notoriety his website has achieved. He has recently taken to leaving the house around 9pm just to sit on the front door step, to gaze around and generally ponder life's mysteries.
Fredcat contemplating the universe
Close at paw, a vast collection of bugs swarm around as the evening draws on, but Fredcat's eyes are fimly fixed on the stars in the darkening sky. Recently, Fredcat - who is quite an avid reader - saw a report stating that there were at least 70,000,000,000,000,000,000.000 - 70 thousand, million, million, million - or 70 sextillion! - stars in the known universe. He thinks that that is a lot of stars indeed.
Apparently, so the report goes, that is more than ten times the number of grains of sand on earth! He wonders where these calculations and comparisons come from?
Fredcat certainly knows how to count. He carefully monitors the numbers of meals he is offered each day, and anything less than two comestibles a day (suitable supplemented by several prawn snacks) means trouble!
July 29th 2003
Our hero Fredcat was told today that there have now been 100 different (i.e.unique) visitors to his website. This did not particularly surprise him as, with his renown, he thought that this milestone might have been reached earlier. (Mr. B. says place your mouse over the picture to see Mr B.'s opinion of all this ...)
Fredcat thinking, 97, 98, 99, 100! Made it!
Fredcat thought that it was a strange coincidence that Fredcat's visitors reach the 100 mark at the same time as Lance Armstrong of the USA Postal Team wins the 100th race of the Tour de France race. With the British (Scottish, actually) rider David Millar winning the final time trial it highlights again the decision Fredcat has to take on the question of his emigration status and UK/USA citizenship. It is indeed a time for reflection.
Fredcat wonders just how these 100 unique visitors found out about his website. Although a famous cat, he has made no attempt to publicise these web pages, leaving it mainly to chance, as well as to a few family and friends, to spread the news. Actually Fredcat is rather disappointed with the paucity of photographs of his good self on many of these pages. If Fredcat had his way there would be pages and pages of his perfectly sweet appearance everywhere for cat lovers worldwide to drool over.
Anyway, Fredcat thanks all those who have tuned in and says a modest, "Hi!" to them all. He is now off for a kip because he finds fame teribly tiring.
July 28th 2003
Although he does not go in for sports himself, Fredcat will frequently agree to watch sports on TV in the company of his human friends to glance at the latest human achievements. He was particularly impressed with the final two days of the Tour de France.
Sports fan cat
After the penultimate stage, it was generally agreed that the US Postal Service team rider, Lance Armstrong, had won the centennial Tour even though there was a full prestigious stage remaining. How could this be? In some sports one person or team is so far ahead that the result can be said to be a foregone conclusion but here, the second placed rider (after sixty-something hours of racing) was lying just a minute behind the leader!
It was not as if the second placed rider was not in a position to catch and overtake the leader. Rather, the sportsmanship inherent in this professional sport dictates that the challenger is effectively "forbidden" to challenge on the last stage, thereby leaving the Maillot Jeunne to take the plaudits of the Parisien crowds.
Frecat thought of all the other activities that have a parallel. Hmmmm ..... Boxing - when the title holder is hanging on, just one point ahead when going into the final round, and the challenger does not try for the knockout! Tennis - at match point against the underdog and that player does not even try to return serve! Hmmm!
Ullrich's waiting for Armstrong to catch up after the latter's fall in an earlier stage was another element of the sportsmanship shown in this year's Tour. Not only did Armstrong catch up, he won that section of the race thereby assuring himself of the overall prize. Just think of the fallers in the Grand National being treated in the same couteous fashion!
This was the 100th Tour de France and the spirit of true sportsmanship is clearly alive. Fredcat was duly humbled.
July 26th 2003
Fredcat has noticed that there is a lot going on around him. A visitor to the house has been talking to Cathie about creating an improved lawn. This is a pity as the current grasses are cut at just the right height for Fredcat and he would not appreciate a radical change.
Philospher cat
Fredcat has just finished watching the 19th stage of the Tour de France on TV. He was happy to fulfill the role of distant observer, as it was evident that it was raining heavily and the riders were crashing because of the rain-slicked road surfaces. Fredcat thought that there was no way that he would ride a bike or even go out in that rain stuff, for that matter. Drinking rain water is very acceptable - but cycling in it? They must be seriously strange folk.
July 24th 2003 | |
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Fredcat wanted to see a picture of Forby again so this is it. The picture became a little blurred since Forby had to be held tightly by his human friend because he was a bit of a demon when it came to holding still for the camera. Just like Fredcat! |
Forby! and Cathie | |
Fredcat has advised us that he has added a little colour to his feedback form. It hardly seems worthwhile, as he informs us, because the "sweet" but arrogant feline rarely bothers to reply to correspondents anyway. However the changes do pander to the Famous One's liking for all things colourful - such as red meat, brown biscuits, and lime green yoghurt to name a few. | |
July 23rd 2003
Fredcat has been doing some more serious thinking. Today it rained and Fredcat does not like that stuff at all. He usually complains to Cathie who then complains to Mr. B to make the rain go away - as if! So today, Fredcat the Famous stood at the window by the front door and dreamed of his old friend and mentor Forby. He recalled the days when he was taught everthing he knew from his feline mentor, and wondered whether he would be doing the right thing even contemplating American citizenship when this was never available to his friend. Fredcat knows that the world is shrinking in terms of getting speedily from one place to another, but it is still a pretty large place even for a famous cat. But, he theorises, he doesn't want to be an outsider in a new country. Oh dear! If only he could discuss this with Forby ....
July 20th 2003
Fredcat has been doing some serious thinking. By the end of July he will have been a resident of the USA for three years. That is a long time for any cat! He is now considering whether to apply for American citizenship. Therein lies the rub. To whom does a Famous cat apply? What are the rules? How will citizenship affect Fredcat? Does he need a reference? and, if so, from whom? He asked Cathie to investigate the whole problem. Do you have any ideas, gentle reader? If so, email Fredcatthefamous@earthlink.net.
July 17th 2003
Today was a quiet day. The sky was muggy with plenty of overcast cloud and it was an ideal time to sleep the day through. Unfortunately, Mr.B insisted upon digging up some part of the garden and carting the resultant rubbish to nether parts of the patch. This was an activity not to be missed so Fredcat found himself an ideal spot under the largest tree where the ground was on a slight rise and settled himself down to watch. It is a particular British habit to watch other people working and Fredcat still thinks of himself as a truly British cat, even though he has been transported thousands of miles away. So he watched, but, as soon as the gardening work was over, was quick to accompany Mr. B back into the house because that is where the food is. He is not stupid.
July 16th 2003
It is decidedly warm. Fredcat has heard reports that the weather in England is scorching and he is a little miffed to find that he has moved to the hot climes of North Carolina only to find that the weather in the old country is just as hot. It is not all good in Europe though, as gales are lashing camp sites in parts of France, where his good friend Cathie used to holiday in the summer months. The drought is also a concern in other continental areas. He will keep a close eye on things.
July 15th 2003
Fredcat would like to make mention that four cats (and, somewhat astonishingly, a dog!!) have sent transatlantic greetings to him. So hi! to Tigger, Snowy, Ginge (another ginger cat?) and Snotty (although Fredcat suspects the lineage of this last one). The dog is called M*lly - Fredcat cannot bear to say the name of a mere canine in full. Snowy sounds too goody-goody to be a real cat but I am sure that Tigger is absolutely wonderful.
July 14th 2003
Today is Bastille Day and the Tour de France is in full swing. It is also Laura's birthday so many happy returns of the day, Laura! - and good luck for the future.
Fredcat has taken a vicarious delight in seeing the riders struggling up the Alps and, later on, tackling the Pyrenees; he sympathizes with them as the steps around Fredcat's current residence are all too numerous. He was quite distressed to see one of the Tour's favoutites, Beloki, take a very nasty fall which put him out of the race. But being famous, and quite experienced, he knows that sometimes you just have to pick yourself up and start all over again. You only have to look at the photograph of Thomas (referred to elsewhere on this website) to know that!
July 12th 2003
Fredcat wants everyone to know that he takes his status as a famous cat very seriously. He was shocked to find that a certain supposedly senior executive had had the temerity to question Fred's status as a famous cat. That particular individual has indeed been erased from the Fredcat seasonal card list and will no longer figure in his diaries. The end!!
If you wish, you can pay a visit to the tails section of Fredcat's website to obtain an insight into just how famous Fredcat really is! This section contains, among other "tales", a story featuring the very highest levels of polite society and the famous "Staring Contest".
July 11th 2003
Fredcat had his photograph taken by David when he visited last month. Whenever a snap of his features is taken Fredcat takes a great interest in the camera settings and usually strolls over to give technical advice (such movement, inevitably, tends to ruin the shot). On this occasion he decided that as David had taken the trouble to visit, at a time when the heavens seemed to be continuously open, he would sit still for a change.
Fredcat's fame has spread, as he knew it would. Even though he was dozing quietly at home his famousness was being touted abroad by his wonderful mistress. At a small business gathering recently he learned of a very nice small cat called "Baby" who had recently celebrated his 22nd birthday with a party. The affair was quite magnificent with a cake with Baby's picture on the top, bearing the words "Baby's 22nd Birthday", "Baby"-themed candy and personalized invitations - all the paraphenalia, in fact, that one expects to laud a cat of such years. Fredcat thought that 22 (human years) was quite an achievement and vowed, in turn, that when he reached that milestone he would probably invite Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II over to the US to help him celebrate. Naturally!
July 10th 2003
All over for another year. Stuck inside the cat carrier Fredcat kept up the number of wails per mile on the trip out to the v*t to just over forty, the same as last year (he likes consistency). Feeling sorry for him it was decided that on the way back he could snuggle down behind the back seat of the car, with Cathie in attendance (of course) and the wailing ceased as if by magic. Food for thought, no?
No rabies shot was required and, apart from a couple of normal vaccine shots, there was no cause for alarm. With new charts available to reckon his human years compared to his cat years (13 years), the calculation gave his human age as 68. It seems difficult to put this into perspective as only a month ago, during one of Fred's frantic mad half hours, he raced up and down the hallway, scampered up and down the stairs a couple of times, sped out of the front door and shinned 15' up the nearest tree, (being an indoor/outdoor cat he can do this, you see).
Usually, coming down a tree is the hard part but not for this famous cat who descended with aplomb. In any case, no human was going to be daft enough to attempt the rescue of a cat possessing claws capable of causing serious damage!
Now safely at home, with prawns defrosting, the world looks rosy again and Fredcat will continue his gloriously famous ways even at the ripe age of 13 human years. Actually, both he and Cathie have reliably informed those around them that Fred is in fact still a kitten and is only 5 human years old. I wonder how this happened?
It is that time of the year again. Cathie had a call from the friendly v*t who suggested that it would be a good idea to check out the famous Fredcat torso and other delicate Fredcat parts. A quick telephone call to the v*t when Fredcat was not looking - actually asleep - and the deed appears to be done. Tomorrow it is.
The last time the visit was made Fredcat voiced his displeasure at a rate of forty wails to the car-mile, there and back. Once out of the cat carrier there was peace. Even the v*t was tolerated without a murmur, since Fredcat likes to have his fitness firmly re-established every year - to keep his Cathie human mistress happy, you understand. A couple of shots, a lot of passing of dollars and all should be well. There is bound to be an extra plate of prawns as a treat afterwards. We will see.