Welcome to Fredcat's diary - and checkout his tails later!
- humbly continued by Frankie the Fearless

Monday, July 30^th 2007 (number 979)

Fredcat RIP Large image

In the days that followed Fredcat's last diary entry, the Fredcat condolences poured in from around the world and his best human friend, Cathie, seemed to be using her handkerchief a lot. Mr. B. busied himself by making sure that these condolences were uploaded onto the Famous One's wide, wide world of web; the messages themselves were heartwarming yet heartrending. "You certainly touched a lot of lives out there," said Cathie, softly, "But I'm so glad you've didn't suffer at the end of your life. That would have been too awful." Life has its twists and turns and Cathie felt that her world had collapsed each evening when she came home from work. There was no Fredcat to greet her (or occasionally ignore her if he'd been put out by something), and high summer was approaching as she made her way to the v*t's office to thank them for all their efforts.

Fredcat has been honored by having a presence of the v*t's office Wall of Fame and Cathie had sent them a very nice black and white photograph of the Famous One. She stood in front of the Wall and was well pleased at how splendid Fredcat's photo looked.

"Excuse me, you must be Cathie, Fredcat's best human friend," said a very tiny voice from near Cathie's feet as she stood gazing at the Famous One's photograph. Cathie turned round and saw a tiny black and white feline gazing at her. "When Fredcat was here last we got to talking a lot and he told me so much about you - and that Grumpy One, Mr. B. Is he really that grumpy?"

Cathie was startled, to say the least. "Who are you?" she asked. "You knew Fredcat? He spoke about me? What did he say?"

"Oh, I'm Frankie, Frankie the Fearless!" replied the tiny feline, and took off on a quick dash across the office floor, easily out-sprinting the various members of office staff who set off after him, before rejoining Cathie.

"I'm on the lookout for a decent place to make my new home and Fredcat convinced me that his famous residence would suit me perfectly," he replied complacently, jumping up onto the office counter and down again without missing a beat. Cathie had to be alert to follow his speedy passage across the room. She'd been so used to Fredcat's more sedate style of walking that she'd quite forgotten how quickly small cats can move.

"Oh yes? And what about Mr. B.?" replied Cathie, "He can be really grumpy about cats, you know; you'd also have to convince him that you're a worthy successor to Fredcat the Famous - and that won't be easy. You'd have some very big shoes to fill, you know. Mr. B. is the one who has to do some of the less attractive chores around the Fredcat residence, I mean ..." She broke off, a tad confused as to how to refer to the former Fredcat residence now that there was no Fredcat resident there.

"The Grumpy One? That's already been dealt with," said Frankie, with a knowing grin, "When he came in to see Fredcat's photograph on the Wall of Fame I made sure I was around - and I even got him to stroke my soft black fur a couple of times!!! He'll be no problem. My job is to try to help you over these next few weeks whilst you're grieving."

"That's very kind of you, Frankie," Cathie replied, "But this is all too sudden, I think. I still have strong memories of Fredcat and I'm not sure ... I need to go home to think things through, and I also have to have a chat with the v*t first."

And so it was a very confused Cathie who later left the v*t's office, her heart and her head in a turmoil. Had Frankie really met with Fredcat? He seemed too young, only about twelve weeks old, but he seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. Perhaps? ... Any link with the Famous One was not to be missed. What to do?

She went home and chatted to Mr. B. about this new feline but the conversation was a one way street. "That Frankie is a crafty old devil for one so young," said Mr. B., "I suppose I'd better get the litter tray out - and prepare the food and water bowls."

"And the round beds," added Cathie, without thinking. She gasped as she realised that she'd already started thinking about bringing Frankie home. "What will Fredcat think of all this?" she sniffed, sadly.

"It occurs to me that Fredcat had already made the arrangements for your future without him and it's now up to you to cope with it," replied Mr. B., a little ruefully, and went upstairs to start bringing stuff down. "I'm sure Frankie will help with your memories of Fredcat, he's met him, has talked to him and, if I know that Famous Fredcat, Frankie's already been well briefed by him. Fearless you say! Frankie the Fearless! Hmmm ... Well, we'll see how it goes after a few days; perhaps by Thursday we'll know where we stand."

Back to top

Monday, July 16^th 2007 (number 978)

Fredcat finale Large image

Fredcat knew his time had come. Cats always do. On Thursday he'd tried to find his own final resting place in the shrubbery in the front garden, tucked up next to the small wall where it was nice and cool, but his best human friend, Cathie, was not going to let that happen without a bit of a fight. "Your instinct may be to hide away to protect yourself from predators but I am here to look after you, Fredcat, so come on inside." The kindly v*t took the same view and all day Friday he had done his best to re-hydrate the Mighty One and, indeed, by the end of the afternoon Fredcat had rallied and the humans had been told to come to collect him from the v*t's office.

But just as all seemed well, Fredcat's neurological system gave a bit of a twitch and ... he had a minor stroke which left him pretty near helpless; unable to walk or do much more than breathe and talk. Cathie cuddled him and Fredcat knew that this time he'd have to say goodbye to her one final time.

"You will remember me when I'm gone, Cathie?" he asked, a tad anxiously.

"You needn't worry, my best and only cat, I'll remember you all my life," Cathie smiled. She cuddled him closer and tried to keep back a tear or three.

"I'm very, very glad that I chose you, Cathie, to be my best human friend. I do love you so much and it will be hard to say goodbye because you've been so special to me over these FIVE long years," he said.

The two smiled at each other at this long running joke.

Fredcat continued, "I would like it if you'd keep my famous Diary on the intawebs for a while so that all my faithful readers can see it and read about my famosity whenever they want to."

Cathie nodded her agreement. "Not only will I do that, Fredcat, but I will set up a montage of all my favourite photographs of you on your website," she replied, "so that I and everyone else can always be reminded of you. And if any of your Dear Readers sends any condolence emails I will be sure to have Mr. B. put them in your famous Guestbook with a timely response."

"Thank you," said Fredcat, "Now it's time for me to leave you, dear Cathie. Farewell."

And then Fredcat died ...

Dear Reader, Fredcat's humans need to say that you probably need Adobe's Flash Player to see this montage. Never fear, though - if you don't have it, or you have ActiveX controls disabled on your computer, then you can see all these Fredcat photographs by following this link to his online web album.

To find out a bit more about the background to Fredcat's famous website then click here or on the Notes link on the right hand side of this Diary page.

To read Fredcat's Condolences page then use the link on the right hand side of this Diary page.

Back to top

Friday, July 13^th 2007 (number 977)

Dehydrated Fredcat! Large image

Today, Fredcat was not in a hurry. Far from it. When morning came he stayed put on the bed, barely moving. Mr. B. actually had to climb the stairs, pick up the Mighty One and carry him down towards his food bowls which had been filled with excellent fare. Fredcat ignored them and made no move to take a drink either. Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, was extremely worried and upset. "It's all that running about yesterday, you should take things easy, Fredcat," said Mr. B. as he watched Fredcat make his way rather ponderously towards the front door, climb over the sill (yes climb, dear reader) and stand outside, uncertain as to what to do next.

Cathie picked up the telephone and soon Fredcat was winging his way to the v*t's office, painfully complaining every inch of the way. He didn't want to be in an acccident, on top of everything else. This was not good.

Dr. H. gave the Mighty One a thorough examination and opined that he needed to check on several things; a blood test was certainly in order, as well as a chest X-ray. The Mighty One's heart (always huge, Dear Reader) was apparently beating at twice the normal speed of 100 or so beats a minute and, despite the four water bowls scattered around Fredcat's famous residence, there were obvious signs of feline dehydration. Fredcat was taken away to the bowels of the v*t's office and the humans were left to worry.

"This would happen on Friday the thirteenth," said Cathie. "I don't think I'm at all superstitious - no paraskevidekatriaphobic I, but ..." She stopped speaking and tried to focus her mind on other matters as she prepared to go to work. "I'm sure the other felines there will keep him company and make sure he's well looked after." But she worried just as much as ever.

When at last Cathie came home from work she fretted until the good Dr H. called. It was soon apparent that Fredcat was medically sound in every respect except, and this was a big except, his mighty back, which had carried him though many glorious episodes, was beginning to fail him. It was felt both by the humans and the kindly Dr. H. that an additional stay at the v*t's office would help both to complete and evaluate all the necessary test findings to see what would lie in store for Fredcat.

So Fredcat is to stay at the v*t's office for another night and Cathie remains helpless at the Fredcat residence, knowing that every move that the Mighty One took was probably giving him some level of pain, from minor to (perhaps) excruciating (gulp!). Who knows? As per usual Fredcat was stoic and was manfully staying the course. He was a famous feline after all, not one to give in needlessly, and he promised Cathie he would dictate his famous Diary on Monday as usual, come what may.

Come home soon, Fredcat ...♥

Back to top

Wednesday, July 11^th 2007 (number 976)

Ever-young Fredcat! Large image

Fredcat was in a hurry. Yesterday had been all about relaxation. He still hadn't told his best human friend, Cathie, or the Grumpy One for that matter, where he'd been over the last few days, and he didn't intend to. "That's my sneak-cret," he declared, "I've got my own sneak-cret hiding places and I'm not going to reveal them to anyone. I got the whole sneak-cret idea from David when he was young and I reckon he got it right; there are some things that one keeps to oneself - and I don't want anyone sneaking my secrets away from me when I'm not looking." He grinned, showing off his pearly whites (or at least the ones that the kindly v*t had allowed him to keep).

This had all started earlier in the morning. Fredcat had badgered Mr. B. to feed him first, before the morning cups of tea for the humans had been even brewed, in fact, and then he'd immediately shot off to the deck door. Fortunately a (somewhat surprised) butler managed to open this before the Mighty One threw him a glare for a perceived lack of speed and efficiency. "I see you've lost none of your agility," remarked Mr. B., "I thought you'd be slowing down now you've reached the ripe old age of sevent..., er, five." His last sentence had been quickly changed as Cathie herself had come into the kitchen and she was fiercely holding up FIVE fingers to make sure that Mr. B. knew Fredcat's true age.

"I consider myself lucky," said Fredcat, showing his paws to both Cathie and Mr. B., "It's very easy to remember my age just by examining the toes on my front paws. Look!" He showed off his paws and sure enough there were FIVE of them on each front paw. Some of my feline friends have six or seven toes," he said, sounding a tad surprised, "That doesn't give them any advantages, you know - indeed they have work harder because they have more toes to clean than I do."

"Of course they could be seen as an endangered species," he continued, "There's always someone out there threatening to throw you out of your home. The world is full of humans like that." Having got that off his chest he gave a sigh, walked out onto the deck, crept under the barbecue and curled himself up in a ball of orange and white fur. "Five" or not he knew how to get fifty winks and he wanted to do get that job out of the way before it became too hot. He knew he didn't have to worry overmuch about the heat because he knew that Mr. B. would call him inside as the day started to warm up - or Cathie would want to know the reason why. Look out, Mr. B.!

Back to top

Monday, July 9^th 2007 (number 975)

Disappearing Fredcat! Large image

The weekend had been going very well. Fredcat had nuzzled up to his best human friend, Cathie, early on, and the two of them had played and chatted happily, even at the unearthly hour of 3am (!) on Saturday morning, Fredcat's time of choice for discussing matters he considered to be serious. Cathie didn't mind the awakening too much as she always treated Saturdays as quality days spent with her Special One. She could always snooze on in bed for the extra hour or so because it was the weekend. When her morning cup of tea and buttered crumpets appeared, she had slept out, and was ready to start the day. She had many things she wanted to do for the Mighty One.

And that was when the trouble started. Mr. B. assured Cathie that Fredcat had had his breakfast as usual, had wandered out for his morning constitutional, had returned, had eaten a few more bites and had demanded to be let out by the front door again. And that was the last either human saw of him for hours and hours - which didn't go down at all well with Cathie.

"You were supposed to keep him indoors for me," she complained, "Fredcat needs to have his medication and I want to do some more things for him - and now he's gone. You should've kept him in!"

This seemed a little unfair to Mr. B. who was unaware of this custodial requirement but, truth be told, he'd just forgotten not to permit Fredcat access to the outside world despite Cathie's request. In fact he'd been a little put out to be reminded, too late, that last Friday had been Chocolate Day and he'd missed it. He was not best pleased at missing out on a reason to eat his favourite food. Although he'd found out that Monday was National Sugar Cookie Day it just wasn't the same to him.

Fredcat didn't appear until 5.30 pm, way past his normal feeding time. "Where have you been?" demanded Cathie, pretty peeved, "We've been searching for you everywhere. Mr. B. has been outside twice, poking and crashing around in the shrubs, getting scratched and torn, and I've been outside rattling your biscuit tin and shouting FOO-OOD for all I'm worth - and still no Fredcat. We've even set up the Fredcat barbecue specially for you; until you turned up we thought we'd be having to eat all the meat ourselves." The humans were more than a tad upset.

Fredcat initially ignored them. The door to the deck was open as Mr. B. traipsed in and out wielding tongs and carrying chunks of meat to the BBQ. "Where I've been is a sneak-cret," said Fredcat at last, "A sneaky place that's secret. A sneak-cret. I can say no more. Is the meat ready yet?"

Cathie quickly grabbed the Mighty One and told him that he was going to have his health makeover, whether he liked it or not, before he could even begin to think of receiving any barbecued meat. She wiped his eyes, cleaned out his ears with tiny circular cloths, gave him his pain medication and removed lots and lots of famous ginger and white fur by giving him a thorough brushing. Then she passed him over to the Grumpy One whose task was to scratch around the famous head with said brush until the Famous One grinned with pleasure.

"It's a good job I don't have to give you a bath, she said when all was done, "I always think kittens look very bedraggled when they've been washed." She couldn't stay cross at her cat for long though and she and Fredcat were soon sharing a joke and a laugh together; chuckling away until Mr. B. brought in the cooked meat.

"That wasn't so bad was it?" she said, and Fredcat agreed. He'd agree to anything to be able to sink his teeth into barbecued meat!

Back to top

Friday, July 6^th 2007 (number 974)

Bewildered Fredcat! Large image

Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, was up and about very early this morning. She explained why briefly to the Mighty One. "There are going to be some very important customers coming to our office this morning for a special meeting - with a very early start! I have to be there early to make sure everything is ready for them." She gathered her things together, swept her hair into a pony tail, blew a kiss in Fredcat's direction and shot off without more ado. Fredcat's emotions were mixed; he'd received a kiss and cuddle from Cathie much earlier than normal but, on the down side, she'd certainly left without providing the usual attention she gave him. Even her departing cuddle was more perfunctory than usual.

When she returned later on he took the matter up with her. "Look, Cathie, I realise that you humans have this unnecessarily complicated inter-human scheme whereby you work for another human to earn money to enable you, Cathie, to buy me stuff - but it's not working very well for me. I don't see why you can't just go and get money from the bank; that's what they're there, for isn't it?"

"And you're out most days of the week, at work!" he continued, "and even when you're home you spend a lot of time chatting to Mr. B. You talk and talk to the Grumpy One about all sorts of stuff, even talking about how most people don't enjoy going to work. It seems silly to work if nobody wants to do it. I need better treatment," he harrumphed.

"Here's an example of how I need to be better looked after - Mr. B. went out to buy some more chicken - but just look at what he brought back! Chicken with garlic and herb-y stuff! A whole cooked chicken wasted, as far as I'm concerned. Although I will admit that Mr. B. didn't think so - he ate the lot himself. Honestly - I could do a better job of fetching stuff than him; I'd be real expert at it, much cleverer than any canine. And you don't even have to take me out for walks!" Fredcat was clearly miffed.

Mr. B. wasn't in the least put out. "I thought you'd eat anything," he scoffed, "But on second thoughts it's just as well you have a minimalist diet, Fredcat, I wouldn't want you to get tubby, you're not a fat cat. If that happened Cathie would soon find you too heavy to lift and carry - and then where would you be? You have to stay slender so that you can fit through the eye of a needle - or at least a piece of paper." Mr. B. chuckled, he liked to make secret jokes but this one, it must be said, fell a bit flat.

Cathie being Cathie, however, insisted that Mr. B. find a fresh new tin of tuna for the Mighty One and one was set down near his biscuit bowls in short order. The old cat food bowls were duly removed and Fredcat soon set to and demolished the tasty fish.

"It's good to have a nice, kind best human friend like Cathie on your side," he thought - even if she did have to go to work all the time. Perhaps one day she'd stop all that going-to-work nonsense and she'd be his forever. That'll be the day!

Back to top

Wednesday, July 4^th 2007 (number 973)

Independent's Day Fredcat! Large image

When Fredcat woke up this morning (too early by half, grumbled Mr. B.) he knew it was one of those special days. Special for Fredcat because his best human friend, Cathie, was going to be at home all day to give him a cuddle whenever he wanted one (and sometimes when he didn't, truth be told). He would even gladly put up with the mild dose of liquid painkilling medicine she gave him (which he knew, in his heart, he didn't really need) just to keep her happy. It's Independence Day, Fredcat - with fireworks and everything, I expect," said Cathie, as she luxuriated in a morning cup of British Blend Tetley tea. "I only wish it would be like this every morning," she continued, "all I need are a couple of hot buttered crumpets as well!" Mr. B., unsurprisingly, thought this was pushing matters a bit too far.

"Sorry, but I have a prior engagement," said Mr. B., firmly, and went downstairs to deal with the Fredcat food bowl. The Mighty One had discovered that a large portion of supermarket-cooked chicken, neatly encased in a large plastic cover, was resident in the refrigerator. For the famous Fredcat nose it had been easy to track, using its enticing aroma, and he'd camped out in the kitchen, refusing all offers of delectable packaged cat food until the Grumpy One had given in and brought out the chicken. It took a lot of chicken to satisfy the Famous One's insides and Cathie called down in alarm from upstairs to remind someone that her name was on a chunk of the tender white meat.

"Knowing that Fredcat was demolishing chunks of that chicken was a good way to get you down for breakfast nice and early," grinned Mr. B., as Cathie put on a burst of speed and dashed into the kitchen, "But you needn't have worried, there's plenty of chicken left to supplement this afternoon's 4th July barbecue. Fredcat's here to stay, he needs feeding and he's not about to disappear for years over an argument as to who gets the most chicken."

Cathie relented as Fredcat came, purring, up to her, deploying a mildly exaggerated limp in an effort to evoke more sympathy. She knew her cat and knew that he appreciated immediate attention so she picked him up and squeezed and cuddled him until he squeaked. Being a ex-British cat, not born in the USA, he turned his nose up at public demonstrations of affection (he believed that this would mark him down as a bit of a wimp) but, having just eaten, he did the thing he did best of all and slowly and gently fell asleep in Cathie's arms. His last remembered thought before he fell fully asleep being, "This is the life, if only it could be like this everyday ..."

When he woke up he remembered to ask Mr. B. to post a message to wish his many readers a Happy Independence Day and to say he will be back to write another episode of his famous diary on Friday, as usual. So ...

Back to top

Monday, July 2^nd 2007 (number 972)

Thumbs up for Fredcat checkup! Large image

As trips go, it was a routine visit to the v*t's office. Fredcat was slumbering peacefully in his HT bed on the screened porch when his best human friend, Cathie, swooshed him up and whisked him off to Mr. B.'s car. Fredcat didn't grumble; he knew he was in good fettle. The kindly v*t thought so, too, (by and large) and Cathie was simply given a refill of the Famous One's pain relieving medication to be taken on a daily basis to manage Fredcat's (claimed) arthritis.

Fredcat pronounced himself content on his return home and happily changed the subject away from his health. "As it's the beginning of a new month, and as you've just been paid, how about a little treat?" he suggested. "It's National Ice Cream Month and today's a beautifully warm day - so how about it?" Cathie didn't much care for ice cream but Mr. B.'s eyes lit up; he adored sweet foods and he hadn't eaten any ice cream for years and years. Well, several days, if truth be told.

"We felines have been around for aeons, you know, but ice cream hasn't been around that long," mewsed Fredcat, "I wonder what food we would have eaten in the early days? Early days being at least 100,000 years ago, originating in Africa - so you should be rightly proud to have me, a well matured feline, agreeing to be your house guest. Actually, we've probably been domesticated for about 10,000 years which was quite a change for us; I must admit it's better to have you humans get me food than have to forage like common feral cats." Fredcat clearly felt he was higher up the pecking order than his shorter-lived scavenger felines.

Cathie reminded Fredcat that not all felines were as smart as he. Our reporter Dana from LA has told us about this kitten that seemed to like drains. What a fuss he caused before he was rescued! "You should have been there to tell him off about doing something so dangerous, Fredcat," Cathie said, but the Famous One wasn't listening to her.

"I smell chicken! Cooked chicken!" he said, and headed smartly for the kitchen where Mr. B. was trying to snaffle a large piece of precooked chicken when nobody was looking. "I believe that's meant for Cathie and for me," said the Famous One, severely, "so please fill my food bowl and then make Cathie a chunky chicken salad sandwich, if you'd be so kind."

Cathie gave him a big smile and thanked him for his attention, while telling Mr. B. that he probably would prefer have something from a secret chocolate cache which she'd held back in reserve in case Mr. B. became overwhelmingly hungry. She soon found herself talking to an empty kitchen as the Grumpy One vanished into thin air, searching for the claimed cache. Happy Fredcat - and happy human!

Back to top