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Fredcat was really looking forward to some high jinks this evening. His best human friend, Cathie was out, raising a glass or two with relatives, and Mr. B. (who was supposed to join her) had disappeared to goodness knows where. Happy New Year! Large image Fredcat was going to hold a party at the Fredcat residence (where else?). All sorts of food had been laid in (secretly, of course), and Fredcat knew exactly how to work the drinks dispenser and how to obtain ice. Everything had been arranged to the famous one's satisfaction. Now the guests were arriving - each would make their way through the cat doors into the inner sanctum. No teenager party-giver, lacking parental control and agreement, could have arranged things better. The party was in full swing when the door unexpectedly opened and Mr. B. walked in. This was not a natural disaster, thought Frecat, but it was a disaster all the same! It transpired that Mr. B. had been called to deal with an emergency and had not yet met up with Cathie at the alloted time. There were some quick telephone calls made and soon Cathie arrived, along with her relatives. But - they all rounded on Mr. B! "How could you spoil this party?" came the cry. It appeared that Cathie had quietly colluded with the goings-on of the Fredcat party, and had assumed that Mr. B. would be safely out of the way at midnight, but now this! Mr. B. beat a hasty retreat as the party restarted, with cats and humans joining in. Even Mr. B. was persuaded to come by later and participate with his (awful) rendition of Auld Lang Syne! When it was over, Fredcat decided to prepare a proper New Year's wish to all his visitors and, if all goes well, you should be able to listen to his Happy New Year broadcast. Fredcat fears that his partying will prevent his recording his diary for a couple of days, so look for his doodlings on Saturday January 3rd 2004. Until then - Happy New Year from Fredcat, Cathie and the ever-grumpy Mr. B! 
"It seems that our world has more than its share of natural disasters," said Fredcat, wonderingly. "Almost every day, when one listens to the news, there is yet another calamity being reported. It makes me feel very lucky that I am not affected by them." Disasters! Large image "Who looks after us cats when disasters occur?" Fredcat said. Cathie looked a little uncomfortable at this remark. She prevaricated, "I think that most animals are probably better than humans at sniffing out disasters just before they happen and can take better evasive action in a lot of cases. Take the example of rats abandoning a sinking ship just when disaster threatens." "I'm not sure that I like the idea of rats even being on a ship," replied our hero. "In fact I'm not sure that I even want to be on a ship myself, come to think of it. It was bad enough flying here in an aircraft where there are no rats aloft. Mind, I have heard of ship's cats spending time on liners, supposedly keeping down the rat population, but it could just be kiddology, you know. The cats eat rather well on board, and my guess is that they pass on chunks of good food to the rats in order to justify their job on board to the ship's crew!" "How cynical you are becoming in your old age,"" said Mr. B., but received a glare from both Fredcat and Cathie. "I am only five, just don't forget it," said our famous feline, and Cathie shot off to the kitchen to provide some excellent turkey chunks to soothe the injured one's pride. Lucky little cat indeed! 
Yesterday was Day in the UK. Fredcat was expecting that the humans in his household would be lazing in bed, as usual, but was surprised to find them up and about early on (well, early for them, at least). He well remembered Boxing Day in the UK as an extra holiday allowing the excesses of over-indulgent turkey eating to be dealt with in the privacy of one's own home instead of at work. Boxing Day activities Large image In the US, however, this did not necessarily apply. Although some business offices were closed, with their workers enjoying a holiday and creating a four day weekend, a lot of folk were out and about. At the Fredcat residence the men had arrived to investigate a problem upstairs somewhere, so Fredcat duly made himself scarce. Surprisingly, he had discovered, not everyone liked and adored cats, which made him suspicious of all visitors until they had passed the Fredcat appreciation test. At lunchtime, Fredcat was offered some more turkey, nicely cut up and presented, but cold rather than warm. This did not go down at all well with our maestro, whose plaintive meows wailed long and loud throught the household. How could something so deliciously attractive on day one, have become so bland and unappealing by day two? "Welcome to the real world, kiddo," said an unrepentent Mr. B. "Just more for me." This comment seemed to get the dander up of both Fredcat and his best human friend, Cathie, resulting in order being quickly restored. A little light gravy and a few seconds in the microwave oven soon restored the turkey from cold indifference to a softer, moister dish, which was accepted by your favourite cat. Once the men had left, Fredcat was free to roam the house and grounds. Amazingly, at some houses, the Christmas decorations have started to be removed! "Hold on," thought Fredcat, "Even we moggies know that one has to wait for Twelfth Night before this is done!" "It all depends," said Cathie. "Considering that these decorations have been up and sparkling for most of December, there is a feeling that it's time for them now to be removed. It's all a matter of taste." "I like them," said Fredcat, "so please may we keep them for a while longer?" "No problem," replied Cathie, "we are too full of turkey ourselves to start climbing ladders yet, so stay they may!" 
Tomorrow it will be Christmas Day and Fredcat is way too excited! He has received another Christmas card and another present, this time from a feline admirer who goes by the name of Baby. Could a famous cat wish for any more? It is definitely countdown time and the hours are ticking by. Fredcat has promised faithfully not to wake the humans before 7 a.m. on Christmas morning. ("Oh, really!", said Mr. B.) Hear the Talking Cat! Large image So, just to give his many admirers, and you, gentle reader, some cheer, Fredcat has prepared a special message for everyone everywhere! You will (if all goes well) be able to hear Fredcat saying his official Fredcat message - click on the Fredcat the Famous Christmas Messsage link here Happy Christmas Yes - hear Fredcat speak!! If this fails, then please accept the Fredcat apologies - and blame the editors. Finally then, from Fredcat the Famous, a Happy Christmas to y'all and y'all's y'all, and Fredcat looks forward to your company when he returns after the Christmas break on Saturday December 27. Y'all come back now!!! 
Fredcat is finding the run up to Christmas very difficult. To start with, many of his human friends seem to be otherwise engaged. There is excitement in the air, but little of it is directed towards out mighty moggie. People rush by with gifts and cards, and hugs for each other, yet Fredcat is feeling decidedly left out of it. Just hanging around Large image It was time to complete the wrapping of the final presents and take them round to relatives. Fredcat did not have any relatives in the USA, which is rather rough on him. Indeed he does not even know who his relatives are! He had left his birthplace many years ago (probably involuntarily), and left the country of his birth many years later, after many changes of address. "That makes a total of five years, doesn't it," said Cathie politely. "The best I can do is have an imaginary relative," thought our contemplative cat. He considered further. "Perhaps I could have many imaginary relatives!" "Actually," said his best human friend, Cathie, "you do have quite a large number of friends, so you could send them a gift instead". "Good idea, but I think that there are too many of them to do that", Fredcat replied. When his human friends returned from their outing, Fredcat asked Cathie if he might send a message using his diary to his seeming extensive circle of friends. "That sounds reasonable," responded Cathie. "We'll put our heads together and work out how this is to be done. Is that a good idea?," she asked Fredcat. "Indeed it is, but one thought occurs to me right now," added out magnificent moggie. "When you went off to carry out your exchange of presents mission, you left me on my tod, without an ample supply of decent nourishment. You need to sort that problem out right now - if you please!" And after he was duly fed, he crept into his special Christmas tinsel bed and was quickly asleep, dreaming of relatives both real and imaginary. Poor Fredcat. 
"I see that a Beagle is on the way to Mars," announced Fredcat. "First, a general purpose d*g is sent aloft in space, and now a little beagle! Why do all the space people send d*gs on space missions when I am sure that cats are much smarter than d*gs and would be a huge asset in space vehicles? Cats have been trained to do all kinds of tricks, you know!" Going to Mars? Large image "I have already done a vast amount of flying, as I said yesterday, and I am so smart that I could easily make the necessary system adjustments, if the occasion demanded it", Fredcat insisted. "As usual, you seem to have got hold of the wrong end of the stick," said his best human friend, Cathie. "The ship is not a beagle d*g but is merely called Beagle. Actually its proper name is Beagle 2, and it is but one part of a mission to Mars. It separated from its mother ship, Mars Express, and is now on course for Mars itself. It will parachute down onto the Red Planet and, after landing, will send all sorts of information to scientists on earth." "But I could have done that," rejoined Fredcat. "Press a few buttons once in a while and - Bob's your uncle! And what will happen to the Mars Express then? Sounds more like a chocolate bar than a space ship!," he added. Cathie explained, "The mother ship will collect even more data and send that to the scientists on earth." "I could do that just as well," complained Fredcat, "It seems that all the fun stuff gets allocated to d*gs, just because they like to lick their masters and they act in a decidedly unrestrained manner (unlike we cats). Unfair to moggies!" A lengthy period of silence followed. "Are you aware just how long it takes to get to places like Mars?" Cathie asked. "You would have to eat some pretty unpalatable grub on the way out, and there is no saying when, or even if, you would be able to return. Neither the Beagle 2 or the Mars Express is returning to Earth, you know." "Oh!" said Fredcat, "in that case, I think I will stay at home for a while, until they sort out the "return home policy". If d*gs want to volunteer for those kinds of missions then who am I to stand in their way? I do have a lot of famous things to deal with here." And with that he trotted off to his feeding bowl which had been tactfully replenished by a prudent Cathie. She knows a thing or two as to which planet Fredcat is on when it comes to food! 
Yesterday marked the centenary of the Wright Brothers' first manned flight. North Carolina is very proud of the fact the Orville and Wilbur braved the elements and an unknown technology to make the first of a series of flights. They may have been airborne for only about twelve seconds, and flew just a few feet off the ground, but fly they did. Fredcat's solo flight Large image "I can also fly," said Fredcat, happily. "In fact, one of the lesser reasons for my being a famous cat is that I am one of a small band of cats who have not only flown in an airplane, but have crossed the Atlantic Ocean in one - and on my very first flight, too," he added. "The airline folk tried to strap me in a chair but I wasn't having any of that. I am pretty famous, you know! Anyway, the straps kept falling off my arms, and they were very uncomfortable!," he complained. "There is a great deal of difference between being flying, and being flown, you know," said his best human friend, Cathie. "To be a pilot one has to learn all sorts of skills, such as the fundamentals of engineering - to start with. I believe the Wright Brothers were very good engineers and they were very innovative. To mark the 100 year anniversary a replica of their first aeroplane to fly was built and tried out on Kill Devil Hills yesterday. You can read all about it in the News and Observer "Regrettably the replica was not able to fly; the wind was not strong enough and the plane was, of course, very fragile, so the conditions were not ideal at all. Thousands of people were present, though, and everyone had a great day out. Even the President was there!" ("Still not received your mushy peas from someone, then," smirked Mr. B.!) "Well, maybe I have done something that probably no pilot has achieved!" exclaimed Fredcat. "I may not have taken the controls of an aircraft itself, but I bet few humans have made the trip across the Atlantic in a traveln box up in a hold". "Nobody in their right mind is challenging you on that score, little aviator of mine," chuckled Cathie, and went off to toast some crumpets for tea. 
Fredcat had a fine time this afternoon. Christmas presents were being wrapped in the Fredcat household and this gave him opportunities for loads of fun. He was not, initially, very curious about the contents of the goods; he was much more interested in the coloured wrapping papers and sellotape. Attention-seeking cat Large image Initially all was quiet. Fredcat approached the dining room table, where everything was neatly laid out; paper, tape, scissors and little gift tags, plus a few tiny bows which were to be used for decorative purposes on the gifts. Unfortunately Fredcat was hungry, having not eaten for almost half an hour, and to get to the dining room one had to pass through the kitchen - and that automatically started Fredcat's salivary glands working (Pavlovian response, anyone?). Fredcat's most successful approach for having one's food bowl filled seems to be to get up very close to humans until they relent ("and by making a thundering nuisance of yourself," said Mr. B.). This time, however, the humans were too absorbed with cutting and sticking to take much notice of a hungry cat. Big mistake. It only took one tiny little feline leap, and a little bit of overbalancing, to produce a result both admired by cats and despaired of by humans - a wholesale mess of wrapping paper on the table. Fredcat must however also admit to ending up with tape stuck to his fur. Quick attempts to rip the tape off didn't go down too well with our mighty moggie and someone, not telling who, got a bit of a scratch in a sensitive area. Once again the result was (another) heated discussion between Cathie and Mr. B. Fredcat did not appear to be blamed for any of the chaos that followed. Most human males are acutely aware of the scenario: problem, followed by discussion, followed by strong argument, followed by apportionment of blame, followed by the dawning realisation - to the male that is - that it is the fault of male and not the female! To cut a long story short (too late!) Fredcat got his food! He still had a small piece of tape stuck to his side and he spent a happy half hour trying to lick it off. Kind hearted Cathie eventually removed it and gave him a special cuddle. As is his right, of course, as he is such a famous cat, no?!?! 
"What's that white stuff on the lawn!," asked Fredcat. "I have just been outside and I must say it is extremely cold out there!" It was not surprising, thought Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, as she surveyed the thick hoar frost covering the lawn. "It's just the effects of cold weather on the grass. It usually happens around this time each year." Cold weather cat Large image Fredcat thought back to last winter when there was an ice storm, with snow and ice everywhere, and with no power for heating, cooking or for washing. Ah yes! - he also remembered the snow which fell a year earlier, which lay so deep on the ground that the top of the snow was above Fredcat's head. It was decidedly unpleasant and he had vowed to remain inside then, waiting for the thaw. As it happened he had no choice! Weather in America was not straightforward: one did not get snowfalls, one got blizzards; rain was replaced by raging torrents; fires became blazing infernos requiring hundreds of firefighters to contain the conflagration; winds became tornados, smashing buildings in their path; and storms at sea became hurricanes capable of dividing land masses in two like the islands at the Outer Banks in North Carolina. A recent United Nations report, had stated that the year 2003 was the third warmest year on record. Fredcat thought that those halcyon days seemed but a distant memory at the moment! The cold on his paws from the hoar frost was not to Fredcat's liking so he decided to warm them up on an unsuspecting Mr. B. Fredcat reasoned that as Mr. B. was such a cold person himself, he wouldn't mind - or even notice - an additional twin pair of paws warming themselves on his person. For some reason that idea was flawed, and resulted in a heated debate between (not Fredcat and Mr. B., as one might have expected) but, surprisingly, between Mr. B. and Cathie. Cathie seemed to think, quite rightly in Fredcat's opinion, that it was perfectly reasonable for a cat to get warm as quickly as possible in the most sensible way that this could be done, but Mr. B., apparently, took a different view ... As the argument showed no sings of abating, Fredcat took himself off to his feeding bowl, and polished off the rest of his biscuits. He then strolled upstairs to the rumpled bed, the best kind to find. He drifted off to sleep, aware that there was a noise coming from below, but it was nothing to do with him. Purr.... 
Things were getting back to normal. Fredcat had finally forgiven his best human friend, Cathie, for "forgetting" to bring him home a present from England. To make up for the error, a brand new sleeping area, complete with masses of soft tinsel had been set up in the living room, close to the fireplace, and Fredcat had been testing it out all day. Deer? Here? Large image Later, Fredcat had watched with some amazement as the humans had decorated much of the interior of the house. It seemed that there were two different types of decorations: the first involved setting up Christmas trees (clearly fake!) to which were added hundreds of tiny electric lights. The effect was quite dazzling. Then came the addition of baubles, of all sorts and descriptions; coloured glass balls, little Christmas figures and ornaments of all types (sometimes with no apparent connection to the Christmas festival - although an apologetic few had a religious motif!). Then there were the foil decorations hanging from the ceiling. These they came from England and could be fun to play if they could be caught and dragged down - if one were smart enough. But it was outside that the fun was more apparent. Up and down the road houses were decorated with lights, mostly white, but some with a sprinkling of colour. It was not clear whether Fredcat noticed these external lights, as his ability to see seemed to be unaffected by the amount of light available (he can, after all, spot a tiny creature a hundred feet away quite easily, even in semi-darkness). Sets of throw-lights had been tossed over low lying shrubs and individual strands were looped onto the branches of small trees. Some of these lights were flashing! The windows of many of the houses were lit from the inside with dressed Christmas trees or by stand-alone lights, giving an overall effect which was dazzling, yet serene, at night. Some houses had illuminated figures standing in their front gardens (yards), and Fredcat's own house sported two deer. Neither appeared to be Rudolf, thought Fredcat. The female deer seemed to be contentedly eating grass but the male deer was looking up in alarm. As well he might, thought Fredcat, as half of his lights had gone out and no amount of changing bulbs had improved matters. Fredcat decided that humans ought to stick to doing the things they were best at, like keeping his new bed well turned and his food supply well stocked.
Today has been quite exciting. Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, had received a message to say that she had been honoured by her workplace as their Administrative Employee of the Year! Fredcat thought that Cathie's being the friend of such a famous cat had clearly impressed her colleagues and managers! Cat of the year? Large image Alas, Fredcat has to admit that there appears to be a bit of a problem with his relationship with his (supposedly) best human friend. Fredcat has obviously not forgiven Cathie for deserting him for a whole week, and is now in the process of ignoring Cathie! No longer does he leap onto the bed at night to bask in the warm glow given off by the electric blanket. Instead, he now settles down for the night on a large pile of tinsel in one of the rooms downstairs. A feline diktat has been issued not to remove the tinsel - not even to use it to decorate the Christmas tree - but simply to remake the pile at the end of the night's sleeping and leave it ready for the next lengthy catnap. Or perhaps it is the fact that the famous one's present seemed to have been lost en-route, or perhaps even he has completely forgotten his erstwhile best human friend! (Oh, no!). It appears that cats have an ability to transfer their affections at the drop of a hat, if the mood so takes them. This is a calamitous situation, as the signs are that Fredcat has transferred his affections to Mr. B.! This is a disaster on several fronts as, according to Mr. B., there is little "room at the inn" for Fredcat in the Mr. B. plans. Indeed Mr. B. is being forced to consider a lengthy tour of some foreign country, just in case this seeming transference of affection becomes permanent! Cathie, it must be said, is equally put out by this sudden and quite unexpected loss of affection.
It's not as if she hasn't tried to win back the famous one's affections (dancing with him, singing his praises, etc.) but this is apparently all to no avail as Fredcat is now breaking with long standing traditions - he is now to be found lying contentedly on Mr. B.'s desk, curling himself up on Mr. B.'s keyboard and creating a mess of cat hairs over Mr. B.'s computer. This situation needs to sorted out quickly! The famous feline and the award winning human need to get together soon to resolve their differences before too many of Mr. B.'s pens are tossed unceremoniously onto the floor by our miffed moggie. Trouble at t'mill, it seems!
After a week's holiday, Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, is home again! Although he was secretly more than pleased to see her home, he knew better than to show his pleasure too openly (he is British, after all). It would never do to have her think that she controlled his life in any way; better to have her think that she was dispensible (and, hopefully, keep her on her toes). Finishing the decorating Large image In fact Fredcat felt that he had due cause to be a little upset with her. Apparently Cathie had missed her connection at London's Gatwick airport ("due to fog at Manchester", she claimed) and the flight on which she eventually arrived at her home town airport landed some eight hours later than planned - which meant that Fredcat had to wait ages for his evening meal - which is quite an inconvenience to the famous one. He thought of Cathie sittling in nice, warm, comfortable airplanes, flitting happily between this airport and that airport, meeting all those considerate customs and immigration officials, whilst he, Fredcat, was sat sitting waiting for his dinner.. Fredcat thought of all those careful and conscientious security guards, talking to Cathie, asking her to take her shoes off in a busy hallway - just to admire her in in her petite white socks whilst they were shone little wands all over her clothes. Then there would have been the x-ray scanner people, checking all the large items of luggage, who had to be extra careful not to injure their backs lifting the cases, which meant that they allowed all passengers, both strong and weak, big and small, to lift all their luggage high up on to tables to be scanned and x-rayed. What fun Cathie would be having.. On top of that Cathie would be having the time of her life walking down all those long, wide airport corridors (a cat could have such fun chasing anything and everything up and down the exciting escalators and along the travelators), with loads of luggage in tow, some even strapped to Cathie's back, and the rest of her luggage following behind her on their little wheels. And all the time, Fredcat was being denied his tea! So when the errant traveller finally hove into view, our feline friend did not even take one peek at her and instead trotted off to his virtually empty feeding bowl, pointedly munched the last scraps therein and then headed to the door, waiting for his butler. That would teach her... 
A week ago, Fredcat had an important question to ask his best human friend, Cathie. "Why is there sand in the water you give me to drink?" he queried. This surprised Cathie, who proceeded to an immediate investigation into this startling claim. Wow! It transpired that there was, indeed, sand in the water and it was collecting in the bottom of the famous one's otherwise clean water bowl. Something would have to be done! Clean water please! Large image The investigation revealed that sand was collecting in a number of places where water reached the Fredcat household. "This will never do," said Cathie, and immediately called the plumber. In the meantime the Fredcat water bowl was filled from the refrigerator water dispenser which, luckily for him, had a built-in water filter. Fredcat and Cathie would now have to wait until the plumber came round, did all the necessary testing and (hopefully) proposed a solution which would satisfy both Fredcat's health concerns and Cathie's finances. First signs were not encouraging. The solutions seemed to be many and varied, and the costs were similarily wide-ranging. "We will have to wait and see what to do next but, thank you, Fredcat for spotting the problem so promptly!" she assured our sandy hero. Turning towards the present situation, with his best human friend so far away in the land of Fredcat's birth, Fredcat fell prey to daydreaming. Had there been problems with the drinking water when he lived in the UK?, he mused. With the water supply to so many homes to review this seemed to be a remote issue. Sometimes, there were times when arguments raged about the softness or hardness of water with some folk advocating adding chemicals to the water to maintain good dental hygiene, and others demanding that they didn't. This was all so confusing, so Fredcat turned his thoughts instead to the return of his best human friend, and the prospects of once more being cuddled and cosseted. Not at all like the "attention" being provided by that mean Mr. B., who was being pretty offhand, in Fred's (not so) humble opinion. Fredcat fell asleep musing on the possibilities of revenge in store .... 
Fredcat is pleased to report that he has received another 'phone call from his best human friend, Cathie, who is holidaying in the UK. Apparently, she had been to the local fish and chip shop, where had bought some fish and chips (obviously!), with a side of mushy peas. Fredcat was disappointed that Cathie had had to go all the way to the UK for these herself. Mushy peas for Cathie! Large image The point being that Fredcat was sure that the President had almost certainly forgotten to bring back some mushy peas when he returned from his recent visit to the UK. Even if he brought some back, they would be stone cold by now, he thought. The President was increasingly involved in the demands for fund-raising for his next political campaign. Fund-raising is a way of life in the political world of this country. One needs tons of money to be able to put oneself forward for almost any political post with the size of one's fund being an indication of how much support you will garner over the coming months, and is directly linked to the amount of television broadcasting one can buy. Fredcat is going to cast an eye on some of the "goings-on" in this election over the coming months. His thoughts reverted to the list of goodies that Cathie might bring back from the UK. English crumpets were bound to be top of the list. When toasted and buttered they are a treat that is missing from the diet of Americans. Yummy! Fredcat likes muffins (the closest thing to English crumpets he has been able to find in the USA) although one suspects that it is the hot butter which is the attraction, rather than the actual muffin, so don't leave yours unattended, or you might find it a little dry! Then there are those BIG jars of Marmite, not the expensive little ones that one can buy in the USA. Then there are also little loaves of fruited malt cakes and, of course, more tins of mushy peas - and don't forget the Liver Salts!! just in case anyone should overeat. At the thought of the mushy peas, Fredcat's thoughts turned to what presents he would like Cathie to bring him. None of the above could really be described as the perfect feline gift, perhaps he just craved the long fingernails of his best human friend after all. Being talked to and chatted to were much desired, and were tons better than living with the morose Mr. B. who hardly ever muttered anything nice (to anyone). Time to come back please, Cathie, he mouthed silently. 
The long awaited telephone call from the UK finally came and Fredcat was reassured that his best human friend, Cathie, had arrived safely at her destination. Fredcat certainly missed her and only hoped that she was enjoying herself. He assumed that by now Cathie would be buying loads of presents for him; he's such an optimist! Fighting a cold Large image Several days ago, Fredcat had developed a cold. Every few minutes he gave what sounded like a cross between a cough and a sneeze. In fact, it sounded more like a sneeze than a cough, rather like the sneezes a human makes. This was repeated a number of times in a row (his personal best was 33!), and his torso shuddered with each cough. The v*t was quite sure that it was a cough though, and pointed out that Fredcat's nose had a couple of droplets nearby. "So I'm just like a human then," exclaimed Fredcat, with a semblance of pleasure that he had an illness in common with his human friends. "Oh, no," said the kindly v*t, "this is not something that is transmitted between cats and humans". He then prescribed loads of medicaments (for which Cathie paid for using her credit card). "You do seem to be costing us a lot nowadays," she murmured. "But I am well worth it!" said Freedcat, without a flicker of remorse. Over the past week, Fredcat had religiously taken his pills and drops. This was mainly due to his human friends clutching him so tightly that he could not wiggle overmuch, and the medicaments were administered without causing too much pain to all parties involved in their administration and receipt. Actually, Fredcat was very good to take his medicine so effortlessly, and he won unstinting praise from Cathie. He much prefers being a well cat to being a poor sicky one. Fredcat now supposed that with Cathie gone from the USA, he would be feeling blue, and not only because of the cold - although that was clearing up. Still, he thought, by the time she returns, I will be fit and well again, and ready to play! And with that he wandered off to track down the waiter to sort out his lunch... 
The flight to England had taken off safely UK and Fredcat was feeing quite lonely. There was no need now for early morning risings to pack the breadwinner off to work. Mr. B. had tried to take advantage of this by turning over to go back to sleep when Fredcat had first appeared to stir him from his slumbers but Fredcat was having none of it. No sir! Get up, get up! Sad cat ... Large image It took a lot more effort, however, to rouse the wretch from his bed but success had been achieved and the Fredcat bowl was once again replete with good food. There was certainly a lack of normal routine about the place. The hustle and bustle of getting everything ready had vanished, to be replaced by a moronic snore from upstairs. Even the normal "butlering" duties were absent and Fredcat was obliged to slip through the cat flaps (cat doors) on his own. The weather had turned freezing overnight. Fredcat had been reading the English newspapers where it was claimed that there would be a water shortage in the coming summer despite several deluges during the recent winter months. A few years ago there had been standpipes in operation in parts of the UK and Fredcat thought that his best human friend, Cathie, would not appreciate going to the UK if there were a water shortage Fredcat had not heard from Cathie since she left, but he knew that she would be staying for a while in the company of a good friend, Margaret, who had kindly sent him his favourite biscuits when the right sort of food was in short supply in the USA. Fredcat's pal, Ginger, would help by keeping in touch about Cathie's whereabouts, even if she were lax in this regard! Only a few more days to go, thought Freedcat. I wonder what Cathie will bring back as a present for me? Perhaps some more English biscuits? At which thought his insides reminded him that he hadn't eaten for several minutes, so he trotted back to the dining area. "Gotta keep my strength up until Cathie's home," he muttered sadly to himself. 
The sales had had an unexpected result for Fredcat. His best human friend, Cathie, had decided to take advantage of the very low AASaver fares available, to fly to the UK to pay a surprise visit to see her other "best and only", and his fiancee. This was a tad worrying for Fredcat, who had long basked in his role of being the only "best and only". Please come back soon! Large image Because the AASavers deal was necessarily of short notice, the trip called for some rapid decision making, and a growing number of lists were quickly created. Suitcases were brought down from the attic, dusted down and examined for suitability. Fredcat played his part in this exercise and parked himself in the upturned lid of the largest suitcase, hoping that this would not be the one to be selected (not least because of the significant number of cat hairs he was rapidly depositing therein). He calculated that if Cathie took one of the smaller cases then she would automatically be forced to return earlier. How clever of him! It didn't work. Cathie took the largest suitcase she could find, one with wheels to help her move it around the airports - and filled it with all sorts. Presents for all and sundry, and what looked like enough clothes to last for a month! "Planning on an extended stay?" smiled Mr. B., wickedly, to Fredcat's alarm. "No. And that's quite enough of that suggestion," said Cathie. Things were getting serious, thought Fredcat. "How long is this trip going to last," he asked, plaintively. "Only about a week if all goes according to plan," said Cathie. "I will call every day to check up on you," she added. Fredcat was not amused. He looked at Mr. B. and thought with a sinking heart that he would be at the mercy of that rotter for a whole week with no comforting hugs from his best human friend to support him if matters got out of hand. Don't worry about Mr. B.," continued Cathie, "I have arranged for you to be visited regularly by your other good human friend, Jane, and she will report to me if anything at all goes awry while I am gone." Fredcat was, frankly, unconvinced by all this. If he did not dislike flying so much he would have considered accompanying Cathie, but he knew that the conditions for cats travelling in planes were less than comfortable. After all, he had tried it once and had decided that that would be his one and only flight. "Anyway, I am not going yet," said Cathie, "So we will have time for a few more song and dance routines before I leave." "But after that - look out!" said Mr. B., menacingly. "Oh dear!, I don't much like the sound of that," thought Fredcat. But what could he do? 
One of the items on the list of Christmas presents which Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, had bought for him ages ago required the purchaser to apply for a mail-in rebate. This was for the not insubstantial sum of $30. Definitely not to be sneezed at, thought Fredcat (who, it must be confessed, had been sneezing a lot lately). Another delayed rebate! Large image The trouble was that the rebate had not been sent as promised. And that is where the fun started - although it wasn't fun and the $30 rebate has still not arrived after over three months. Fredcat is watching developments very carefully, as he is aware that until this rebate turns up his chances of receiving further gifts hang in the balance. The difficulty seems to start when the shop who sold the goods passes one smartly over to a "customer care operative" via telephone. (Actually one does not gain access to an operative at all, only a menu of pre-recorded push button choices, seemingly designed to prove that the customer is a complete idiot who should never have bought the goods in the first place, cackled Mr. B. smugly - getting a glare from Fredcat in return). If, by chance, there is an operative available, one frequently finds that they are based in an overseas call centre, where they have been given detailed instructions on how to deal with a multitude of queries. Such solutions, unfortunately, never lead to a solution to one's own particular query. Despite a common language, there is often a problem getting one's question across and Fredcat believes that if everyone spoke cat then there would be no problem! He is now sure that Cathie will think again (and again and again) before purchasing goods which involve a mail-in rebate as part of the deal in the future. She reckons that her $30 is now lost forever - and Fredcat's present along with it, alas. Oh dear! 
Today is the first day of December and all the Christmas decorations and trees have been brought down from the attic. Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, was pleased that Fredcat kept out of the way as large heavy boxes were dragged down from above. When the boxes were opened, however, someone proved to be only too keen to examine the contents! Let's start decorating! Large image Near to the home of one of Fredcat's other good friends, Jane (she of the long nails which are good to stratch a cat's back with), is a house which is famous locally for the Christmas decorations in its garden (yard). It has virtually become a local tourist attraction! Amongst a host of attractions, it features a massive fire engine, a prehistoric beast, sleighs and reindeers, Santa Clause/s (where do they all come from?), soldiers, ghosts, parachutes, plus a fine display of external house decorations. One has to see it to appreciate the full variety of lighting effects on display. Fredcat wonders who is responsible for paying the power bills? This morning Fredcat sniffed around his own modest Christmas tree. This is a plastic affair, not a real tree. Some of the branches have yet to be added so there is still room for Fredcat to manoeuver underneath. These branches, however, do have sharp edges, which are very nice to scratch one's back against in the absence of human finger nails, although they definitely lack a true tree smell. Amazingly, in recent years, neither Fredcat nor any of his feline friends have ever shown any inclination to play around any of the Christmas trees inside his home. Fredcat's humans thank their lucky stars for this, as they have seen too many cartoon films of cats leaping and crashing into heavily-laden Christmas trees! Despite the attractions of hanging decorations, coloured balls, flashing coloured lights adorning the branches (not forgetting the lovely soft tinsel), the tree in its entirety has always been studiously ignored by all feline members of the family. Once the tree has been fully dressed, however, Fredcat usually finds its comfortable velvet skirt an excellent place to sleep. Fredcat carefully measured the distance from the Christmas tree to his food bowls and is pleased to report that he can make the walk easily enough. As at the time of writing, Fredcat has only sampled the awaiting pile of tinsel just the once, so he is now off for a second test before it is seized upon to decorate the tree. A great place to dream about Christmas - on top of a pile of tinsel!! |
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This is little me 
- I am so smart!
Move on to say thanks to those who helped Mr. B do this stuff
Copyright © 2003-date Fredcat the Famous and Mr.B.