Fredcat's Tails
Burglars
There were two days to go before Fredcat's pal, Ginger, was due to return home. It had been an excellent visit and Fredcat was sorry to see Ginger go. The two were resting contentedly in the living room when they overheard Fredcat's best human friend, Cathie, talking on the telephone. They heard lots of "Really", and "Well I never!", comments from Cathie, until the telephone handset was replaced.
Crime fighting cat
Intrigued, Fredcat sought an explanation. It transpired that there had been a spate of burglaries in the neighbourhood recently, and no one had any clues as to the identity of the villains. Losses had not been particularly significant, but each item stolen was something which could easily be redeemed for cash if one knew where to go.
"Not every house has been burgled though?", Ginger noted. "The ones that had been burgled had only humans living at home. Perhaps it would be a good idea to get a d*g which could scare off intruders", he commented helpfully.
Fredcat considered this for a while. Was this his friend talking? Suggesting that guard d*gs start living in every house in the subdivision? Horror of horrors, he thought. Some d*gs, yes, but a guard d*g in every home, oh horrors!
The local police dropped by, making their "enquiries". "If you see or hear anything suspicious, let us know immediately", she cautioned. Cathie agreed of course, but there was little of note to report. "We will be keeping an eye open for any suspicious activity", said the good officer, but you must understand that we cannot be everywhere at once. "We understand", said Cathie, "and we, too, will keep our eyes open."
The next day came a report of another burglary!. This time the theft was more serious and the owner, Mr. Parlone, had lost quite a substantial sum of money and some valuable antiques as well. It was a significant loss for the value of goods taken this time was more than those taken at all the other houses - combined!
What made it more intriguing was that at this house there was a dog. He had apparently heard nothing! What is going on, mused Fredcat. Things are getting out of hand.
Mr. Parlone was not a happy camper. He had recently moved to the area and complained that one of the reasons he had moved was because of the low, almost insignificant, level of crime in the subdivision. "And now this!", he exploded.
There was something wrong here, thought Fredcat. So that night, while all around were asleep, he and Ginger made their way out into the night air. They had fun for a while chasing down a stray mouse or two, until, suddenly, they both heard an unusual sound from the rear of the house.
Using all their catlike facilities, they crept to the rear of the Cathie house to spot a decidedly human figure stealthily opening one of the downstairs windows and making his way inside. As they watched, the intruder quickly switched off the alarm system. Now how did he know how to do that?!, thought Fredcat.
A little light could be seen shining inside the house as the burglar moved quickly from room to room. But in just a few minutes he was back at the window, easing himself outside the house.
But this time, a surprise awaited him! From a nearby tree two dark shapes leapt down onto the villain's shoulders, landing simultaneously, one on each side, with quite a force. To the burglar it must have felt like an escaped tiger landing on him, with its claws spread apart - and with a heavy weight to boot. He was bowled over.
The yell of terror could be heard several houses away. Said claws were not particularly sharp, nor did they cut deeply into the man's jacket (or even his shoulders underneath), but the action's being so unexpected was what made it so totally unnerving.
People emerged from all directions, to be followed shortly thereafter by the friendly policeman. The burglar, complete with a modest haul from his two minute's worth of ransacking, was quickly brought into the light.
"Well!", they all declared in unison. It was Mr. Parlone. Whatever was going on? At first, Mr. Parlone tried to make out that he was trying to catch the burglar himself, until he had been attacked by an unknown tiger. This tale was immediately ridiculed by the neighbours.
"There are no tigers here, they stormed, "and no doubt we can prove that the bag you collected the goods in is your very own". "I should imagine that a search of Mr. Parlone's house might prove interesting', said the friendly policeman laconically.
It seemed that the game was up. But there were several things which puzzled the neighbours. Why was Mr. Parlone carrying out the burglaries, and how did he manage to enter the house without being detected? Then it started to become clear.
"Isn't he an employee of our security company?", declared Fredcat to Cathie. "That would probably account for the fact that he was able to circumnavigate the security systems so readily".
"Well, yes", replied Cathie thoughtfully, "but his own house was burgled you know!".
"That was done for two reasons", said Fredcat. "The first was to throw off suspicions that he might be the burglar - he pretended to have been the victim of a burglary."
"And", added Ginger, "he was "burgled", despite having a d*g at home".
"Yes indeed", continued Fredcat, "that was what made me suspicious in the first place. I mean, d*gs are OK I suppose but, by and large, they do make good lookouts and they will bark at the slightest provocation, and yet Mr. Parlone's d*g apparently didn't make a peep of noise when his own home was burgled."
"Another thing", added a triumphal Fredcat, "I thought it very suspicious that the home which had "lost" the most valuables was the only home with a d*g guarding it".
Ginger then completed the feline analyses (somewhat to Fredcat's annoyance - as he wanted to supply the coup de grace), "and it soon became apparent that Mr. Parlone's reasons for burgling his own home was not only to throw people off the scent but also to cash in on a substantial claim from the insurance company for items and cash which we now know were never stolen in the first place!"
"Thank you, Ginger", muttered Fredcat, with a slightly less than gracious air. But he soon forgave Ginger (after all, they were pals, and it was nearly time for Ginger to return home – and there was both tinned tuna and prawns for tea!)
Mr. B. looked at Fredcat with utter disbelief. "What a load of codswallop", he bellowed. "You have made this up from start to finish just to get extra prawns for tea. You and Ginger are in this together - and not for the first time", he added thunderously.
Fredcat drew himself up to his commanding height, bristling with indignation. "Well now", he enquired, "have you ever seen a tiger outside your house?" " Er, well no, of course not, but what's that got to do with anything?", said Mr. B. (he would have added more but Fredcat had stalked off after muttering, "Exactly").
Hmmm!, Hmmm!, Hmmm!. What do you think of that, gentle reader?